AUTHOR: elfin
TITLE: Twinkies
CHALLENGE: Britslash Halloween Challenge
FANDOM: Stargate SG-1
PAIRING: Jack/Daniel

Characters beloved creations of and copyright Jonathan Glassner and Brad
Wright. Story copyright MJHughes 2000



by elfin

With some difficulty, Jack managed to catch the dangling end of the
pizza slice with his mouth and munch it before the cheese dripped to the
floor. Across from him, adjusting his hair, Daniel shook his head in
disgust. “You are really revolting sometimes.”
Jack’s eyebrows lifted in a questioning, innocent expression, and he
cocked his head to one side in a manner Daniel thought of as ‘hurt and
wounded’. He sighed, smiling. “Yes, I still love you.”

Jack’s face split into a grin just as Sam came into the living room.
She reached for the pizza and stopped. The long fingernails didn’t make
the usually simple operation of eating very easy. She glanced at Jack,
saw that he was having the same problem because of his gloves, and
settled her gaze on Daniel. She batted her eyelids, wondering if it
would still have the same effect. He signed and leaned down to take a
slice of the gooey pizza into his fingers. Sam leaned forward and
allowed him to feed her. “Jack, why did you have to order the slimiest
pizza they do?”
The colonel smiled innocently. “It seemed apt. Be thankful I left off
the anchovies.” He watched Sam take the pizza from Daniel’s fingers and
felt a stab of heat at his groin. The memory of eating melting
ice-cream from those very same fingers only three nights ago as they
lounged naked together on the couch…. Letting out a deep breath he was
relieved when he heard the fourth member of their team cross the hall.

Teal’c paused in the doorway of the large living room and gazed at his
three companions. “This is a strange human ritual, O’Neill,” he told his
CO in no uncertain terms. Dramatically, Jack sighed and turned. It had
taken them the best part of the week to persuade Teal’c to join them
tonight, and a three-pronged assault kept up throughout the day to coax
him into dressing for the occasion. But what Jack saw when he turned
took the words from his mouth.

Sam turned, now balancing the rest of her pizza slice on the back of her
hand. “Wow!”
Daniel’s face finally broke into a smile. “You look fantastic, Teal’c!”

The Jaffa looked unconvinced. “I feel like a fool, DanielJackson.”
But Jack was approaching him, patting him heartily on the arm. “Way to
get in the mood, Teal’c!” He turned to the other two members of his
team and grinned. “Everyone got their twinkies?” The three nodded.
“So are we ready, children?”
“Ready, Uncle Jack,” Sam mimicked.
“Good. Then let’s hit the town.”


Jack had always wondered at what they must look like, the four of them,
to a new people upon first contact. They were an odd bunch on the
surface. Sam, beautiful, intelligent and practically deadly. Daniel,
also beautiful, those big eyes dancing behind his glasses, but unaware
of the effect he had on people, more interested on ruins and history.
Teal’c who frightened the life out of most people even when they didn’t
know what he was but was the one of them capable of the utmost
gentility. And finally Jack himself, leading this team from the front
yet usually several miles behind the others in grasping an idea or
seeing the obvious.

Tonight, though, they looked for once like they often felt inside.
Strange. And detached. Yet somehow at one with the town in which they
only sometimes lived.

The bar was packed, but a cheer went up as they walked in. They were
surprised at first, but behind them another group made their entrance to
the same ovation. Obviously that was the way of things tonight.
Catching the attention of the busty barmaid (whose beard spoilt the
effect rather but who was going to point that out?), Jack ordered four
large beers and handed them out. Standing in a close circle, they
chinked their thick glasses and tipped them up. Sam was the first to
notice the eyeball floating to the top through the froth on her drink.

“Dah!” She pulled her head back, holding her glass out to Daniel.
Daniel looked at her. “And?”
“Get it out!”
“Why me?”
“’Cause you’re not wearing fingernails.”
“I am… oh, I see what you mean.” He reached into her beer and snagged
the eyeball between his fingers, dropping it back almost immediately.
“Everything’s slimey to you, Danny.” Jack reached for his lover’s
fingers and took them between his lips, sucking luxuriously.
Sam shook her head. “Get a room, you two.” Jack winked and let the
fingers go, holding Daniel’s gaze for another moment before looking
away. Then he frowned. “You hear that?”

Above the noise of the crowd there was definitely a quiet bleeping.
Quiet, but on a pitch guaranteed to work its way eventually into a
person’s consciousness. Jack swore and pulled his bleeper out of his
pocket. Not an easy pocket to get at either. He read the illuminated
readout and shook his head. “I don’t believe it. Tonight of all
nights.” Sliding the small gadget into his pocket and looked at his
team. “I’m afraid we’re up, people.”
Sam groaned louder than the rest of them and downed her beer in an
impressive show of rebellion. Then she looked from one to the next.
“Do we go home first?”
A twinkle came into Jack’s eye that made her regret the very thought.
“No,” he stated, a command decision if ever there was one. “They call
us on our night off, they get us as we are.”


The looks they got, the stifled laughter outside the main compound was
nothing compared to the expression of the guards on duty.
“Colonel O’Neill.” He was greeted by Officer Cardman as he signed in
and waited for the others to do the same. Sam winked at the desk guard
and dropped a twinkie in front of him.
He grinned up at her. “Thank you, Captain.”

They took the elevator down deep into the Earth to be greeted when they
stepped out by several open mouths. Jack picked on one uniformed gawker
in particular. “What? Never seen four people dressed up for a night
out before?” The poor man just shook his head and held on to the butt
of his gun.

General Hammond looked up as his primary team stepped into the
conference room and bade him a good evening. “Colonel.” They were
impressed. He hardly batted an eyelid. “Take your seats, SG-1. I
apologise for calling you in on your night off.”
Daniel shrugged. “We didn’t have any plans.”
Jack hide his giggle behind his hand. “What’s the problem, General?” he
asked to rescue his team from the terrible, laughter-drawing silence
that would otherwise have prevailed.
“SG-7 have run into a few problems on PX4873, we need a quick rescue
mission and as you four know that planet better than any other team….”
“We’re just the people to go in,” Jack nodded. “Understood, General.
We’ll get right out there.” He stood, followed by his team.

Hammond pushed his chair back. “Colonel.”
The four stopped and turned. “Yes, Sir.”
“I suggest you change first. I doubt Captain Jenkins and his team would
care, but I don’t think the enemy would be persuaded to give up their
hostages if faced off by Dracula, Pumpkin-Head, the Candyman and Lizzy
Borden. Even if they are carrying weapons.”
Jack grinned. “Certainly, Sir. Wouldn’t want to freak out the
aliens.” With a second thought, he reached into a deep pocket and
tossed a twinkie at his boss. “Happy Halloween, Sir.”

Halloween 2000

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