Title: Crying in the Rain
Author: Gwendolen
Fandom: James Bond - Goldeneye (Movie)
Pairing: James Bond/Alec Trevelyan, played by Pierce Brosnan and Sean Bean
Rating: NC-17
Summary: A look at the relationship between James Bond and Alec Trevelyan
before, during and after Goldeneye
Archive: Yes to Rareslash, GSSU, CKoS, Nesting Place
Email: draigon@gmx.net
Series/Sequel: No
Disclaimer: Not mine, first and foremost the creation of Ian Fleming. No
profit is made.
Warnings: Spoilers for the Bond-Movie Goldeneye, if you've seen the movie,
you know what happens, also slight spoiler for one of the older Bond movies
(sorry, title escapes me right now), deathfic

Loved it? Hated it? Tell me :-)

Crying in the Rain

by Gwendolen


*London 1987*

Wearily James Bond moved down the corridor away from M's bureau. He was
tired, disgusted and angry. The mission had ended in a disaster through no
fault of his but because of the stupid mistake of a quite green
Company-agent. But M had still considered it prudent to take out some of his
irritation on Bond as if he could have saved the situation despite
everything that had suddenly gone wrong. The death of the young attaché and
the two guards still bothered him, so useless, such a waste - but he refused
to dwell on it.

The tension of the last two-and-a-half weeks undercover work was still
coiling inside him and Bond knew that he'd have to do something about it
before he'd be able to finally relax and sleep. There were several methods
for that and sex was the quickest and most pleasurable method. And after
tonight he needed to feel alive, that there was still a tomorrow and that he
was still here, still living, breathing, feeling. He needed the warmth and
presence of another person.

Just thinking about the machinations necessary to find a willing female made
Bond inwardly groan with trepidation. He was not in the mood for all those
games right now, felt too impatient, too close to the edge of his temper. It

would take too much time, too much energy. But he didn't seem to have any
choice in the matter and resigned himself to it, already thinking about
where he would start in his search for a willing bedmate.

When he saw a familiar figure ahead of him, he wondered if something finally
had decided to go right for a change.

He moved towards the slim, blond man and smiled slightly when the other
turned and smiled in greeting.

"Well, hello James. It's good to see you."

"Alec." Bond greeted his old friend. "When did you get back?"

Alec Trevelyan had been gone for over five months and only now, seeing him
again, did James Bond realise that he'd missed his friend. And looking at
him, he felt a quickening of his pulse. Dressed in his favourite black,
comfortable clothes that showed off his slender and graceful build he looked
seductive and dangerous, but his blond hair and mischievous smile made him
look like a schoolboy.

Their friendship had always been special and unique. Sometimes Bond wondered
if their superiors knew although he ultimately didn't care.

The younger man inclined his head slightly, studying Bond carefully. They
had worked together at lot, knew each other better than anyone else did and
Bond knew that Alec could read him better than anyone else, would recognise
the signs.

"I got back just this morning. And spent most of the day with debriefing."
Alec's mouth twisted slightly, showing his disgust. Bond nodded, they both
were men of action and debriefing was an ordeal.

"Have you made any plans for tonight?" Bond asked while they walked down the
corridor towards the lift that would take them downstairs to the building's

"Not, yet." Alec drawled and smiled at Bond, indicating that he was aware of
Bond's tension and his need. The blond man inclined his head slightly,
letting Bond know that he would be there and James felt a touch of relief.
Tonight he wouldn't have to search for a stranger, tonight he would have
someone much more fulfilling.

* ° * ° *

Bond passed the glass of whiskey to Trevelyan and sipped at his own
Vodka-Martini. Now that he felt certain he'd get what he needed he was
willing to take his time. He looked at the man, sprawling on the couch and
couldn't suppress a smile. The blond hair slightly dishevelled and the
slender, muscular body showed off by black clothing, Alec presented an
almost irresistible sight. Almost irresistible. To see who could outwait the
other was also one of their old games. Bond settled into his chair and
leaned back to watch his friend and allow the tension to build.

This was most probably the strangest aspect of his relationship with Alec
Trevelyan. They both normally preferred women but on certain occasions
turned to each other, sometimes after a tedious mission when searching for
feminine company looked like too much trouble, and on those occasions when
one of them needed to let his guard down totally, when they wanted, needed
the closeness and the intimacy of someone who knew the demands of the job,
knew the good and the bad days, someone who could be trusted without

It was Bond who reached the end of his patience first. He swallowed the last
of his vodka-martini and then moved to the other man. A slow smile spread
over Alec's face when Bond took his shoulders in both hands, pushed him back
into the cushions and kissed him hard. With his tongue he forced the other's
mouth open, moaning satisfied when he met no resistance but hungry

Bond had his hands buried in the soft, blond hair to hold the other man in
place while he kissed him deeply, taking his mouth like he intended to take
the body. Alec kissed back wildly, sucking and biting at Bond's mouth and
tongue, challenging him. James knew that in the end Alec would give him what
he needed but he'd also make him work for it, make him fight. Just what Bond
needed. But then it wasn't a real surprise, Alec had always been able to
read his moods perfectly. Just like he was able to read Alec's moods. The
benefit of long acquaintance.

For a while they just kissed, Bond fed on that wonderful mouth, tasted the
whiskey Alec had drunk, got reacquainted with it, made it his again.

When his mouth was finally released and the insisting lips moved towards his
throat Alec laughed softly, arching into the caress of Bond's lips on his
throat. "Was it that bad, James?" he asked, his smooth voice sounding husky
and amused at the same time, his chest vibrating with a silent laugh.

Bond looked up into half-closed blue eyes, saw the understanding and an
arousal, that matched his own. Alec reached up and dragged him down to be
kissed again. "Ah, let's go to bed, James," he whispered against Bond's
mouth, the movement of his lips sending a shiver down the other man's back.

With some effort he managed to untangle himself and to get up. Without a
glance at his partner Bond walked into his bedroom, secure in the knowledge
that Alec would follow. He unbuttoned his shirt and draped in over the back
of a chair, at the same time slipping out of his shoes. The rest of his
clothes followed quickly. He turned around when the lamp on the nightstand
was turned on and soft light filled the room. His breath caught in his
throat when he took in the sight of the man now waiting patiently for him on
the bed. He knew Alec's body almost better than his own but its beauty
always touched him. For a moment he just stood there and looked at the
slender but muscular, pale body spread out on the white sheets. His for the
taking tonight.

"What is it, James? Do you intend to stand there and stare for the rest of
the night?" Alec's voice drifted over to him and shook him out of his

"Why not? After all you are a remarkable sight, Alec," he answered and
allowed his gaze to move over the pale body presented to him.

"Okay, watch all you like," Alec returned. Settling back in the pillows he
began stroking himself, his long, elegant fingers rubbed lightly over his
nipples and then moved downwards, stroking over his belly until they reached
the edge of his golden pubic-curls.

Bond took a deep breath to regain some of his control but it was difficult
with that tempting body so close and the tension still twisting his insides.
Finally he couldn't stand it anymore and moved to the bed, pressing the
other deeper into the mattress, taking his mouth hungrily again. He
swallowed Alec's moan and captured the strong wrists in his hands, pushing
Trevelyan's arms down on the mattress. James nipped the lower lip, biting it
lightly before he began to explore the blonde's face with lips and tongue.
Bond kissed first one and then the other eye, tracing the fine eyebrows with
his tongue, tasting the salt of Alec's skin. Moving downwards, he outlined
Alec's jaw with his lips, licked an earlobe, suddenly biting hard and
afterwards soothing the sting with gentle swaths of lips and tongue.

Until then Alec had just accepted his ministrations but now he took the
initiative and rolled them over so that Bond was lying on his back and
looked up into amused blue eyes.

"Patience, James. We have time," he whispered while he leaned down and began
to drop a line of kisses on Bond's jaw and then down his throat. "All the
time we need."

James groaned and closed his eyes when Alec's mouth touched his right
nipple. He kept his eyes closed while Trevelyan nipped, licked and sucked
first at his right and then at his left nipple, sending pleasure coursing
like fire through his body.

Then that tantalising mouth moved deeper, over his stomach. Bond groaned
when the teasing tongue dipped into his navel and sharp teeth lightly grazed
it. James had one hand buried in Alec's hair and urged him even deeper
towards his cock which was by now rock-hard. But Alec resisted him and
instead dropped a kiss on the soft skin of an inner thigh.

"Alec...." Bond protested, trying to direct the blond head towards his
aching erection. He could hear Alec laugh and then felt a tongue flicker
briefly over the head of his cock. "Damned tease." He murmured more to
himself than to the man still reclining between his legs who was now
nuzzling his balls and still ignoring his erection.

With a low growl he grabbed Alec, pulled him up and rolled him on his back.
He kissed Alec again deeply while his hands roamed over the slender body,
one hand moving down to the muscular buttocks, the other buried in the soft
blond hair.

After another deep kiss he put his mouth against one of Alec's ears. "Roll
over, 006." He whispered and licked along the outer edge of the ear, before
dipping inside, making the other man shiver.

"What for?" came the innocent-sounding reply.

"Alec!" Bond hissed in exasperation, only to be rewarded with a soft laugh.

"Come on, James. I want to hear you say it. Or is that so difficult?"

Bond closed his eyes to concentrate on the sensation of strong hands
smoothing over his back down to his buttocks, one finger rubbing briefly
through his cleft. He swallowed unable to form a word, unwilling to say what
Alec wanted to hear.

"Tell me what you want, James," Alec softly taunted him.

"And what if I don't?" Bond returned, sure in the knowledge that in the end
one of them would give in. The only question was who would be first.

"I would let you do it anyway." Alec finally said, his voice laced with
resigned amusement and then he turned on his stomach, presenting Bond with
the view of his long back. For a short while James just sat there and
studied the other's backside, looked at the broad shoulders tapering down to
the small hips and the inviting, tight buttocks. He noted a new scar on the
left side, slightly below the heart and for a moment his heart clenched.
Someone had tried to kill Alec from behind. Even though this would-be
assassin hadn't been successful, it angered Bond briefly. He traced the scar
with a fingertip and then leaned down to trace it with his tongue.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Knife." Alec murmured. "Tell you later."

Bond accepted this and continued with the lovemaking, stroking Alec's back
from his shoulder down to his buttocks, knowing how much the blond loved to
be pampered.

Finally he opened the drawer on his nighttable and took out a tube with
lubricant. He urged Alec to spread his legs and knelt between them.
Carefully he introduced one finger to the tight opening, preparing Alec for
the larger intruder that would follow. Soon he added another finger, working
them slowly inside and out again, loosening the tight muscle. When he was
satisfied that Alec was relaxed enough and ready for him, he urged him up an
his hands and knees, then quickly coated his erection with the lubricant and
moved into position. But James made no move to penetrate the other's body,
he bit his lip and forced the need down, then leaned forward and bit one

"For England, Alec?" he asked.

The blond moaned, wriggling his hips invitingly and in the end laughed
huskily. "No. For us, James."

He nodded satisfied and moved forwards. Groaning as he slowly entered the
other's body, feeling its heat and tightness.

"Gods, Alec. This is so good." Bond gasped while he moved deeper.

"Only the best, James." The blond retorted, pressing back, forcing Bond to
penetrate him even deeper.

When he was all the way in he paused, kissing a sweaty shoulder, inhaling
Alec's unique scent and tried to catch his breath, to regain his

It was Trevelyan who moved first, arching against Bond, tightening his anal
muscles. "Damn you, James," he gasped. "Move! Let me feel it!"

"Patience, 006." Bond admonished him, fighting to keep his control. He
intended to make this last and to enjoy it to its fullest. "After all, it's
considered a virtue."

A low growl was Alec's sole response and he bucked again, changing the angle
of Bond's penetration, making the dark man groan. Unable to stop himself
James thrust deep, once, twice then he had his control back.

"Nasty, Alec," he murmured, biting the other man on the neck, smiling when
Alec shivered and moaned.

"James...." by now his voice had a pleading sound and Bond couldn't hold out
any longer, but then he'd achieved what he wanted. He withdrew almost all
the way and then thrust in again, deep and hard, giving Alec what he wanted,
taking what he needed. He repeated the movement again and again, groaning
when Alec rose to his knees to thrust back against him. Reaching under the
other man's body James found his erection and wrapped his hand around it,
stroking it in the rhythm he'd developed. They moved together like a
well-oiled machine, the tempo increased, Bond's thrusts in the other's body
became harder, deeper. With a last thrust Bond buried himself deep in the
accommodating body and reached his climax. He wanted to collapse but his
consideration for his partner kept him from it and he continued stroking
Alec's erection until he felt the other man tense and then jerk while his
hand filled with warm fluid.

Panting, they both collapsed on the bed. After another moment Bond withdrew
slowly and rolled over on his back, wiping the sweat from his forehead. Now
he felt like he'd be able to sleep for the next two days. He turned his head
and looked at the man next to him who grinned like the proverbial cat after
getting ist cream. But then he had, hadn't he?

He dragged Trevelyan close and kissed him again, softly this time, a thank
you. Alec kissed back and then brushed some of Bond's dark hair out of his
forehead. They curled around each other, drifting off to sleep.

* ° * ° *

With a gasp James Bond sat up in bed and for a moment felt very disoriented.
Only after a moment did he realise that he was in his own flat and in his

He felt movement at his side.

"James?" Alec mumbled sleepily and turned slowly, woken by Bond's movement,
the fact that he wasn't wide awake, reaching for his gun, was a sign of his
trust and that he felt secure in Bond's company. James leaned down and
placed a gentle kiss on his temple. "Sssh, it's okay, Alec. Go back to

He watched while the other man buried himself deeper into the cushions and
succumbed to sleep again, then he carefully untangled himself and eased out
of the warm bed. Pulling on his morning-robe he wandered into the
living-room, pouring himself a glass of whiskey.

He knew he'd dreamed, and even though he couldn't remember any details, the
feelings the dream had left were clear. The loss, the pain, the loneliness
were still burning in his body, making him shake and cringe with remembered
pain. Theresa, he must have dreamed about his dead wife, only the memory of
her brought up those feelings. Why now?

It had been some time since he'd last dreamed about her. His dedication to
his work, his missions and other women normally kept the memories and the
dreams about her death at bay.

He downed the rest of his drink and put the glass down before returning to
the bed. At the foot of the bed he stopped and looked at the sleeping man.
Alec sprawled there and had shamelessly taken up all of the available space.
In the subdued light of the moon and the streetlamp outside, he looked
strangely vulnerable, fragile, just pale skin and bones.

James noted the marks his fingers and teeth had left on that pale skin and
wondered what force, what passion bound them together.

Had his dream anything to do with Alec? With this? They were friends, had
been friends for quite some time. Actually Alec was the one person closest
to him, no-one else meant more. No other woman would ever be able to take
Theresa's place but Alec had a place of his own in Bond's life. Friends
since they'd gone through the basic training together - and occasional
lovers soon after.

Sometimes the depth of his feeling for Alec Trevelyan scarred him. What
would happen the day Alec didn't return from a mission? This was something
he had to live with, something that could happen every day. Sometimes the
loneliness became too much but he didn't dare take the risk of loving again.
It would hurt too much. It would be so easy to love Alec and he could loose
him just as quickly. And then what?

Bond shook his head and sighed. He should get some sleep and stop thinking.

Carefully he slipped into the bed again and curled up to the other man. With
a unintelligible murmur Alec turned in his sleep and snuggled closer to
Bond, his face pressed into the curve of James neck.

Bond's hands stroked gently over the muscular back, the soothing rhythm
finally lulling him back to much-needed sleep.

*London 1996*

It was raining, just a light fizzling rain, but the sky was grey and hung
with dark clouds. James Bond looked up into the sky. It was a weather
befitting his mood, dark, dreary and melancholic. And it was the perfect
weather to pay a visit to the graveyard.

For a long time he stood there and stared at the simple gravestone. Theresa
Bond. His beautiful wife, they just hadn't had enough time together and he
still missed her, even after all these years.

Finally he put the flowers down, turned and headed towards the exit. Almost
inevitably he thought about his last mission and its end. There wasn't even
a grave to remember Alec by.

Theresa and Alec - the two most important people in his life, both dead.
Theresa's death had been his fault. Alec's as well? What if he'd told Alec
that he cared, that he needed him, even loved him. Friendship obviously
hadn't been enough to eliminate the hatred and pain of Alec's past.

But after Theresa's death he'd begun to keep everyone at a distance. He
couldn't have faced such a loss again, just couldn't. It hurt too much. At
that time Alec had already been close, one of his few friends, one of the
few people he really trusted. He couldn't have allowed him to become even
closer, to mean even more than he already did.

When Natalja had confronted him, he'd managed to keep up the cool facade, to
stick to the role of the controlled MI6-agent and he'd lied to her, trying
to convince himself as much as her. But it hadn't been as simple as he'd
pretended. Until the very end he'd hoped that Alec suddenly would laugh and
tell him that it all had been a great plan of triple think, to finally get
Goldeneye and to destroy not London but something else, something that
threatened the world. But Janus had been real and in the end he'd been
forced to kill Trevelyan. Watching Alec getting killed by Ourumow had been
bad enough but having to do it himself was a thousand times worse. He almost
wouldn't have done it but he'd had no other choice. No choice? He'd seen no
alternative then and he saw none now. But how he wished there had been
another way.

He slowly moved on, too lost in his thoughts to really notice the rain. And
if asked James Bond wouldn't have been able to say whether the wetness on
his face was from the rain or from tears.

*the end*



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