Okay, I've tried slashing an old boyfriend and that felt pretty good. Now 
I'm killing off an annoying coworker. Actually. my sis recommended it as 
sort of therapy after a particularly bad day at work. Let me know what you 
think. As always, this story is based on The Highlander and involves some 
gratuitous sex between Methos and Duncan MacLeod, so it is rated NC-17. 

Comments to  Dds455@aol.com 


by Roxanne

Methos, the world's oldest living Immortal, sat in the empty bar and nursed his beer while he waited for his Scottish fuck-buddy to arrive. A small box covered in plain brown paper sat on the bar next to the glass of cold lager. Methos had been waiting over a week for the package to arrive and was now way past impatient to get to the loft and try out hisnew purchases.

He had seen the advertisement for the online adult store in a site called "eatme.com" and quickly decided to try out the new Visa card he'd just received in the name of Pierce Adamson. It was easier than he had thought possible to order the honey dust, cock ring and anal beads over the Internet ... just a few clicks of the mouse, and his shopping cart was filled with all kinds of goodies.

Now if MacLeod would just get here, they could blow this place and start blowing each other. Methos had the whole evening planned. First, he would give Duncan a full body massage with the honey dust. He could just feel the silky powder as it glided over the golden flesh of his lover. He would gently work it into each taut muscle of Mac's gorgeous back, taking particular care to knead it into those wonderful mounds of his ass. Methos' long fingers would caress each leg from thigh to ankle and then he would rub the powder into Mac's feet.

If he could keep from sucking every bit off Duncan's toes, Methos would then have Mac turn onto his back so that his front could be massaged also. That would certainly be a test for both their will power. If Methos could keep his hands and mouth off Duncan's cock, he would give that man a rubdown he'd never forget. Then, when he was all done, he would lick every bit of the honey dust off that magnificent body.

Methos couldn't decide if he wanted to play with the cock ring or anal beads next ... or both at the same time. Duncan had just gotten into penetration and he was certainly enamored with that particular sensation, so the anal beads might be best left till last. Might as well give the boy something special to look forward to. 

The cock ring that Methos had ordered was leather, tooled with a Celtic knot design. It would be so much fun trussing up Mac's erection and then tormenting him until he was practically bursting to come. As Methos swirled the beer around in his mouth, he decided that he also needed to have a glass next to him when he gave Mac the blow job. A little cold beer in his mouth as he went down on the Scottish hunk would make his cock explode when the ring came off.

And then there were the anal beads ...

"Hey Methos. Guess what."

The 5000 year old Immortal glanced over at the approaching Highlander and mumbled "What?" That was it - one word and then he went back to drinking his beer and thinking about his toys. It was 3:00 and Joe's was still deserted except for the one old wino that was always parked at the far end of the bar. Methos wondered if that guy even had a home to go to, but quickly dismissed 
the lush from his mind. 

"I've got a new student."

This time Methos turned and glared at the Scot. 

"Why would you want to do that? You know how much time it takes to train a student. Do you really want to spend night and day with some green Immortal who may very well turn around and try to take your head someday? And more importantly, have you given any thought about how this will affect me?"

In two seconds flat, Methos had caused Mac's face to fall from one of joy and anticipation to one that could only be described as crestfallen. Mac sat down heavily on the bar stool and leaned against the smooth wood to brace himself. 

"I thought you'd be happy for me," he practically whined to his companion. "It won't affect us that much, I'm sure. She can live in that new apartment I made upstairs from the loft and all our training will be in the dojo. It's closed for repairs anyhow, so I thought it was the perfect time." 

"She?" Methos blurted out the question, giving up all pretense at being annoyingly indifferent. This created an altogether new problem. He and Mac had only recently become lovers and Methos knew that the Highlander was still uncomfortable with letting other people know that he was bisexual. Now with a woman moving in - literally moving in - Methos was downright scared of the repercussions. And besides, what about the toys?

Mac's eyes opened wide as he realized the significance of Methos' response. He placed
a hand on the old guy's thigh and lightly kissed his cheek. The action was supposed to be reassuring, but it just served to further piss Methos off. He shoved the hand off his leg with a snort and attempted to raise up and stalk away. Mac grabbed his arm before he even left the stool.

"It's okay, love. It doesn't matter that Pam is a woman. There is no way that she could ever take your place. Trust me, I'm not even mildly attracted to this woman."

"Then why did you take her on, Mac? What would make you want that kind of responsibility?" Methos knew the answer before the words had fully left his lips. "It's another one of those clan things isn't it? Mac, you're not responsible for the world. Letsomeone else train this woman. Amanda could use a hobby now that she doesn't have you to wrap around her little finger."

"I ... I don't think this woman is going to have an easy time finding someone to train her. She's kind of ... overbearing."

"Oh, this just gets better and better. Mac, are you completely nuts or are you just the softest touch on Earth? Isn't my being around annoying you constantly enough? Now you have to add this woman to the picture. She must be damn good looking."

"Well ... no. I wouldn't say that."

Methos shuddered to think what this woman must be like to make Duncan MacLeod, the greatest lover of women alive, make not one, but two unflattering remarks about her in the course of one minute.

"Where is she Mac? And how in the hell did you find her?"

"I left her in a church. She was still pretty shook up after what happened, so I thought I'd better get her someplace quiet and secluded right away. She was murdered, Methos. I watched this woman in a big black SUV just run her down over on Parker Street. I didn't get the license plate number, but it was one of those vanity ones with some word in Latin on it, I think. Anyhow, the street was deserted, so as soon as I realized what she was, I picked her up and put her in the Thunderbird and drove her to St. Alban's. Who else could she turn to, Methos? If she tries to go back to her family like this, imagine whatcould happen."

Methos drained the rest of his beer, grabbed his package from the bar and sighed loudly. "Well, I guess we'd better go and play nursemaid to this woman. I just hope you know what you're getting yourself into, Mac."

Methos caught his first glimpse of the new Immortal as Mac turned the Thunderbird onto 47th Street. Standing in front of the grey, Gothic structure was a round bundle with brassy blond hair and arms folded across her chest. She wasn't ugly, but she was certainly no knockout. the woman was 50 if she was a day and her features tended towards doughy. She also looked like it wouldn't be long before she was as wide as she was tall. 

The car had not come to a complete stop before the new Immortal began to talk. Her voice was unusually and unnecessarily loud and very nasal. Methos cringed as soon as she began to speak.

"I thought you were going to be back soon. It's been over an hour since you left me here. I've been waiting out here forever. The priest was starting to give me some strange looks. Then this guy came in and started checking me out. I think he was going to hit on me. I talked to him for a while, but he started acting nervous and said he had to leave. The priest was pretty nice, but he got a phone call and had to leave. I didn't hear the phone ring, but you know how these old 
buildings are. Irregardless, I've been standing out here waiting for you. I really think you owe me an explanation of what happened. I still don't understand why you didn't just take me back to my hotel like I asked. You know that I am out here to receive a national award. The people I work with are going to start to miss me soon, if they haven't already."

"I ..."

"Who is this guy? Is he like you? How many of you guys are there? I still don't understand what you were talking about with the swords and stuff. I did take fencing in college, so I will probably be pretty good still. I'm pretty athletic. I walk three or four miles every day and really watch my diet. God, my head hurts. It started all of a sudden... just as you came around the corner. It's probably the fumes from this car of yours. Are you sure it's safe to drive this around 
town. Maybe it has some kind of gas leak. I get sinus headaches all the time, but this is different. Actually, it's gone away. I wonder if it was some kind of migraine. I get those too. You know that you sometimes get an aura before one of those. That could be what happened."

"I ..."

"When am I going to be able to call my husband and son to let them know I'm okay. They'll be worried sick. Tim ... that's my son ... he's in college at the University of Illinois. You'd love Tim. He is such a great kid. He is so smart and so good looking. He looks a lot like me only he isn't a blond. Tim's majoring in business at the U of I. I'll tell you, that kid's going to go far. You just watch. And, you know? He could have any girl he wants, but he still loves to spend time with just me. I think that's so great. Most people aren't lucky enough to have such great relationships 
with their kids, but I sure do. What is this place?"

Mac saw his opportunity and jumped into the conversation feet first. 

"This is my place. It's a dojo. I have a loft upstairs and ..."

"Well, I'm sorry, but I don't think this looks like a very safe neighborhood. I thought you would live in a really nice area ... have a nice house and all. I live on the lake back in Springfield. We have a lot of doctors that live around us there. I don't know if I'm going to feel comfortable here. 
I'll be up all night worrying about someone breaking in. What is a dojo, anyhow? Are you guys coming?"

Mac had taken a moment to massage his temples as a major headache threatened to take hold. Methos just leaned further back in the seat and groaned. Pam stood with her hands on her hips and was actually silent for a moment. As soon as Mac got out of the car, she started up again.

"What am I going to do about clothes? These things are ruined. Can I at least go back to my hotel and get my luggage? If not, you're going to have to find some petite shops and get me something. I can't be expected to walk around like this for very long. I look best in pastels, but actually, I can 
get away with most anything. I have just that kind of coloring. And I'm probably going to need some different food than you are used to. I'll bet you guys just live on junk food. I'll bet you don't even know how to boil water let alone know what kinds of food are good for you. I really watch 
what I eat and count fat grams. I pretty much only eat chicken and fish and vegetables. Every once in a while I'll splurge on some fat free Twinkies, but not very often. I'll bet you didn't know that they may be low in fat grams, but they're really high in ..."

It happened so fast that Mac didn't even have time to react. With one swing of his sword, Methos lopped the head off the new Immortal. He dropped his weapon in preparation for the Quickening and looked sadly at Mac.

"I just couldn't stand to hear another word," was all he said before the Quickening hit.

As far as Quickenings go, it was pretty pitiful - not much more than one spark and then kind of a fizzle. Methos looked up at his lover, preparing himself for receiving the full impact of Mac's fury. Instead, he got a look of quiet resignation and a shrug.

"No big loss. I'll help you clean up, then we can go up and I'll help you take care of that after-Quickening hard-on."

"Don't worry about that. All this one did was make me a little nauseated. Maybe we can just go upstairs and take a nap instead."


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