Title: Rat Dreams
Archive: yeah, right! <snigger>
Okay, this scene flashed into my mind today as I was sitting on the bus. I
tried to get rid of it, *honestly* I did. But it got my brain in a strangle-hold and forced my fingers to type.
Now, this isn't going to make any sense unless you live in Britain. And even
then you probably won't know what I'm babbling on about if you're just a
young slip of a thing. Only ageing folk like me will get it. <sigh>
Comments to: Storm9632@aol.com
Aphrodite was filing her already perfect nails, contemplating her lot. Life
was *so* boring these days. Nobody worshipped her, nobody petitioned her. Life was just one long drag. And she had this *huge* headache. Probably going
to be an earthquake somewhere soon.
Idly, she sent began scanning the minds of the little mortals crawling over
the Earth. Most of them were completely dullsville. But occasionally she found something of interest.
There. Something caught her attention. A mortal asleep upon a couch was having an erotic dream that was quite hot. Much of the dream was a mangled
hash of old porno movies, but underneath that was a deep vein of sensuality
that gave Aphrodite a mild thrill. Somewhere in that dream were memories.
Angsty, guilt-filled, *hot* memories.
She delved deeper into the dream. But it was almost as if the sleeper was aware of her presence. His dream began to fragment, leaving 'Dite with vague
impressions of rats and leather jackets.
Never mind, the little mortal had entertained her for a few minutes. It was
quite an achievement in this day-and-age! Aphrodite was determined to reward
Fox Mulder awoke to the sensation that he was being watched. There in front
of him was a woman. And what a woman! Blonde, gorgeous and barely dressed. Of
course she was also translucent, but you couldn't have everything.
'Hey, Mortal! Are you awake?'
The voice could do with some work, Mulder decided. A bit too Valley for his
'Hey, I get bored easily, ya know.'
'Sorry.' Why was he apologising to a figment of his imagination?
'Yeah, well, never mind that. Look, I decided to fulfill your deepest desire,
okay? 'Cos you're kinda cute and your dream was hot! Now, close your eyes and
wish for your heart's desire.'
Many, many miles away, Cupid was spying with growing incredulity on the erotic dreams of an ageing gerbil. Wow, that gerbil was hot! Cupid hasn't
seen a dream like that in...well, actually, he'd *never* seen a dream like
that! And the dream was obviously based on memories.
Cupid was impressed. Even Iolaus hadn't had memories like that!
But the memories were old. The object of the gerbil's dreaming had left him
years ago to chase rapidly retreating fame. And the gerbil had never seen him
Cupid decided that something needed to be done. This could have been the love
story of this century if Fate hadn't have intervened. He was going to put things right. He concentrated on the image of the gerbil's
Two streams of godly power swirled across the world, searching, locating. Two
leather-jacketed ratfinks were found, oddly enough in the same ill-lit alleyway. Both caught up in transportation spells and sent on the way to two
Fox Mulder woke with a start to the sound of a knock on his door. As he collected his gun and headed towards the door he shook off the odd ending of
He opened the door rapidly, gun pointing at...
...a small, elderly rat in a tatty leather jacket stared at him in alarm.
'Yeeah! Say, is that a gun in your hand or are you just pleased to see me?'
'What the hell... Who the hell are you?' I'm still dreaming, Mulder told himself.
'The name's Roland. Maybe you've heard of me? I was almost famous once.'
Mother and son looked down from Olympus on the scene. They turned to each other and spoke as one:
Kevin the gerbil stared at the dark-haired, green-eyed, leather-jacketed human who had suddenly appeared in his living room.
After rushing around brandishing a nasty-looking gun for a while, the human
settled down in front of Kevin and absently began to stroke his back.
Kevin sighed blissfully. It had been years since anyone had touched him at
The human didn't have much fur, but, Kevin decided, beggars couldn't be choosers. And he *did* have cute green eyes and there *was* something
The gerbil had no idea where the human had come from. But maybe he'd keep him...