'Firsts'
by Jon Snow
Sam couldn't quite believe that he had done it. He had actually asked Adam on a date- A
DATE for Christ’s sake, and he didn't even know if he was...if he was interested in
other men *that* way. 'I suppose I could ask him right out if he's gay' thought Sam as he
sipped the coffee that he had made for himself.
It was 6pm, and he was meeting Adam at around 7:30 at Bridges restaurant. He still hadn't
decided what to wear and was padding round the flat in his underwear. Sunny was out,
checking out a new club somewhere or other, so it was just Sam on his own.
'I'm not even sure if I like him' another sip of the coffee 'and besides, do I want to get
involved with someone who has HIV?' his conscious continued to reason with him as he drank
his coffee. He glanced at the clock and saw that it was almost a quarter past six, and he
still had to have a shower before getting ready to go.
He put his cup down in the kitchen and made his way up to the bathroom. He opened the
shower door and turned on the water. It was barely warm, so Sam decided to let it run for
a while and have a shave in the meantime. He looked at himself in the mirror, crystal blue
eyes staring back at him. 'What am I going to do?' he thought to himself 'I don't even
know if...'. The doubts where eating him from the inside out. As he began to glide the
razor over the contours of his face, he continued to argue with himself: 'I think that I
might like him' 'But he's got HIV- it's such a risk' 'But still, we could take
precautions, and it wasn't his fault that he got the virus' 'But...' This continued for
the next 4 or 5 minutes, until he couldn't see anything in the reflection before him
because of the steam coming from the shower.
He finished shaving and wiped the condensation from the mirror. The bathroom was slowly
filling with steam, and the water was very hot. Sam slipped his underwear off and stepped
into the shower, first feeling the water caress his body, then putting his head under the
flow and letting it fall over him.
He reached for the shower gel and began to lather first his hair, and then the rest of his
body. He rinsed himself off and was about to get out when he stopped.
He just stood there, enjoying the feel of the water pounding down on his back, giving him
a moment to relax. Then the nagging at the back of his mind started again 'What am I going
to do?' he thought, 'What am I going to do?'.
With some effort he turned the taps off and stepped out of the shower, grabbing a towel.
He dried off and tied the now damp towel around his waist. After picking up his underwear
he made his way to his bedroom, consciously forcing himself *not* to think about the
situation he had got himself in to. "What to wear..." Sam said to himself,
surveying his wardrobe for suitable attire. He settled on a black suit with an ultramarine
blue shirt underneath.
He admired himself in the mirror, and decided that the outfit needed an accessory. He went
over to his dresser and picked up a necklace. It was black string with a silver oval
design, somewhat like an 'O' type shape. He put it on and looked in the mirror again.
"There" he said to no-one but himself.
He looked at the clock- it was almost seven. 'I'd better get moving'; "I just wish I
knew what I was doing" he sighed. With that Sam grabbed his keys and jacket and made
his way out of the house to meet Adam at the Bridges restaurant.
Part 2
Adam had been waiting for Sam to arrive for almost ten minutes. He was sitting by the bar
with a perfect line of view towards the door. He scanned the nearby tables for about the
nineteenth time, checking that Sam wasn't already there.
He picked up the bottle of beer he was drinking and took a swig from it, enjoying the
coldness as it slid down his throat. When he put it down again, Sam had just come through
the door and was walking over to where he was sitting.
Sam smiled when he saw Adam, and he smiled back "I didn't think you were coming"
teased Adam
"Sorry" Sam replied "It took longer to walk than I'd expected."
"We'd better go get our table" said Adam, as he got off the stool, his drink in
one hand, his jacket in the other. Then he remembered "Sorry, where are my manners?
Would you like a drink?"
"Yeah, please- I'm parched. A diet coke, please" The last part was directed at
the barman.
"You're not drinking?" Adam asked, looking slightly surprised
"I thought we could have some wine with the food" replied Sam, picking up the
bottle of coke the barman had given him. After Adam had paid for the drink, they made
their way over to the maitre' d to ask for a table. This was only the second time either
of them had seen the other outside of work, and they were both slightly nervous, Sam more
so than Adam, because he didn't want to end up putting his massive foot in his even bigger
mouth *again*.
They continued the small talk until they were seated and their orders were taken. By the
time the meals arrived, they were already through one bottle of wine, and Sam was just
finishing his life story "...And then I found out he'd been seeing this woman behind
my back! I couldn't believe it!" They were both laughing at was he was saying. Sam
was a little surprised at that 'I thought that was the worst time of my life and I'm
laughing at it??' "But a lot of time's passed since then. I'm over it. What about
you? Any interesting tales from your love life?"
"None as interesting as that." replied Adam "I've only had a few
relationships with some very different people. I'm very open-minded when it comes to
falling in love. The first, she was the love of my life... or so I thought. I was only 18
and I thought she was perfect..." Adam continued to tell Sam about the loves and
losses through his life as they ate.
Two bottles of wine, desert and two cups of coffee later and he was nearing the end
"...but then again, just because I've only been out with women doesn't mean that I
couldn't fall in love with a guy. I just..."
"Haven't met the right man yet. I keep trying but I haven't met him either." Sam
continued. "If you're finished, we'd better get going. It's almost ten now, and I've
got to be in bed soon."
"Is that right?" Adam teased, the alcohol making them both slightly
looser-of-tongue. After Sam had paid the bill, they were outside the restaurant, the rain
reflecting the light from the moon.
Sam thought to himself 'Do I go for it? Yes? No???' He took a chance. "Adam, would
you err..." he licked his lips, which were unusually dry "would you like to come
back to the flat for a night-cap?"
"Yeah" said Adam with a smile "That would be... nice."
Part 3
As they arrived at the flat, Sam was more nervous than he had been at the start of the
evening. He let them both in and led Adam through to the living room "It's a nice
place you've got here"
"Thanks. I like it. What do you want to drink?" Sam asked as Adam sat down on
the sofa.
"Erm... I'll have a coffee please" he replied.
"Okay" said Sam "Shall I put on some music?" He moved over to the
stereo and switched it on. Outrageously loud club music came thumping out, and Sam fumbled
with the controls as he tried to turn it off. "Something a *bit* quieter I
think" Sam said as he looked for a suitable CD. He picked out 'Slow Jazz'. 'Something
quiet' he thought. As the soft melody began to fill the room, he went to make the coffee,
leaving both men to their thoughts.
'What am I doing here??' thought Adam, looking around the room he was in, perched on the
edge of the sofa.
'I can't believe I actually asked him here!' thought Sam as he switched the kettle on and
got the cups out of the cupboard.
'What if he makes a move on me?' thought Adam, wringing his hands together.
'I'm really starting to like him" thought Sam "I wonder...'. He put the coffee
in to the cups
'Would he? Should I let him?'
'Should I do anything? Would he let me?'
The click of the kettle when the water boiled brought Sam back to his senses. He poured
the water on the coffee, stirred it and made his way back to the living room. "Here
we are" Sam said, putting the cups down on the coffee table.
"Thanks" said Adam. They continued the conversation they had started at the
restaurant as they drank their drinks. Their hands brushed *twice* when the went to pick
up their respective cups. They continued to laugh and smile until the drinks were
finished. They were becoming more and more relaxed in each other's company, partly due to
the wine they had drunk earlier, and partly due to the friendly atmosphere that was being
created. "Would you like another cup?" asked Sam.
He stood and picked the cups up, but when he turned to seek Adam’s reply, he tripped
over the low table, sending him straight onto the sofa he had just got off of; straight on
to Adam.
Their faces were literally centimetres apart. Adam looked in to Sam's crystal blue eyes.
Sam looked in to the deep brown ones staring back. Neither had made an attempt to move,
and Sam noticed that he wasn't the only one who's heart was racing. Sam slowly bent his
head in towards Adams, their lips now millimetres apart. He didn't try to pull Adam
towards himself, but gave him enough room to pull away if he wanted to.
As they connected, Sam gave the lightest of brushes with his lips, and gauging that there
had been no adverse reaction, he pushed further, letting his mouth linger over Adam's,
letting him feel the texture of his lips, gliding them over his, their mouths doing a slow
dance together. Sam broke the kiss, his eyes opening (he didn't even remember closing
them) and pulled back to look in Adam's eyes, looking for some kind of response.
Adam licked his lips "Err... what just happened?" he asked
"We" Sam swallowed the lump that had just formed in his throat "We just
kissed" Both were still breathing hard. Sam watched as Adam blinked his eyes and
inhaled a deep breath, thinking 'Here it comes, the old thanks-but-no-thanks routine. I've
made such a fool of myself. He probably hates me'
"Err, look Sam, I... that is I..." he paused "Look, I like you. I like you
a lot. But I haven't" Adam sighed "*been* with anyone since... since I found out
I had the virus. I want to, believe me I *really* want to but I'm not ready for anything
like that."
"Look, I understand" said Sam, sounding despondent "I'm sorry. If you want
I'll call you a cab-"
"No, look, Sam, I *want* to stay with you... I just don't want to do
anything..." There was a brief moment when neither of them said anything.
"...All right" said Sam, biting his lower lip like he always did when he was
unsure of a situation. He stood up again, successfully this time, and held out his hand to
Adam, who took it in his own.
He helped Adam up and led him from the living room and into his bed room. He switched on
the bedside lamp and turned to face him. "Are you sure you want to stay?" Sam
asked tentatively.
Adam nodded his head, and began to slip out of the blazer he was wearing, looking at the
ground as he did so. Sam stepped towards him and placed his hands on his hips, tilting his
head towards the other man's until their lips met, tenderly at first, exploring each
others with their own. Adam let his jacket fall to the floor, and as Sam began to remove
his own, he started unbuttoning his shirt, slowly, seductively, until it was completely
undone and his hand could slip inside.
Tiny electric shocks went through Sam where Adam touched his skin, the heat of his heaving
chest increasing with every second.
They continued to undress one another, never breaking the kiss as it grew deeper by each
passing moment, their tongues soon exploring each other's mouths, their pulses charging in
to oblivion. When they were both in only their underwear, Sam pulled Adam back until his
calves hit the bed. He sat down and began to pull Adam on to him, his hands slipping into
his underwear. Adam brought his hands to Sam's and, breaking the kiss, said "No, not
yet. Can we just do this for now? Just sleep together?" His voice sounded desperate,
almost afraid.
"Sure" said Sam, smiling at his new friend; at his new lover. He withdrew his
hands from Adam’s remaining clothing as they resumed the kiss, pulling Adam down to
the bed and over himself. Sam then rolled so that he was on top of Adam, both of them
revelling in the feel of skin on skin. They continued to kiss, But now with less passion
and more affection.
The kisses grew slower and more sensual as time drew on. Adam, who was now on top of Sam,
began to lazily kiss his jaw line, and he could feel tiredness creeping up on him. He
softly brushed his lips on Sam's collar bone whilst Sam kissed his head and stroked the
cropped hair beneath his hand. With Adam resting his head on Sam's shoulder, they both
fell in to a peaceful sleep, locked in each others arms.
Part 4
Adam returned to the land of the living with the feel of someone kissing him on the lips,
a hand pressed on his bare chest and a body close against him.
"Mornin' gorgeous" said Sam, smiling seductively at the man beneath him. Adam
stretched his body, arching his back from the bed and straining the muscles throughout it.
He smiled back and inhaled deeply. Then he remembered.
"What time is it?" he said anxiously.
"Seven-thirty" Sam replied "Why?"
"I'm working the early shift today." Adam explained "I'd better get
going." He slid out of Sam's bed and walked around the room, picking his clothes out
of the various piles on the floor. Sam watched him as he dressed, sitting up in his bed.
Adam hurriedly pulled his clothes on, never making eye contact with Sam.
He sat down to put on his shoes and socks, perching on the edge of the bed. Either of them
was yet to speak.
When Adam was fully clothed he got off the bed and turned to face Sam. "Thanks for
last night, Sam. Maybe we could do it again some time...?" his voice trailed off.
'What a cliché' he thought.
"Yeah. I'd like that" Sam replied, smiling as he said it.
"Well, I'd...better get going then. I'll, err, call you tonight?" With that, he
bent down and kissed him. It was short, but definitely sweet.
"Bye" Adam said and made his way out of Sam's bedroom. As he walked down the
hall, Sunny, who had heard the door go, came out of the kitchen looking the worst for wear
in his boxers with cereal in hand.
"Hi.. Adam??" Sunny said with surprise, doing a double take as he walked past.
"Bye, Sunny" Adam replied as he let himself out the front door and closed it
behind him.
Sunny just stood in the hall for a moment, allowing his brain to assess what he had just
seen and heard. It was too early for his mind to start working, so it took awhile to
register what everything meant.
He came running in to Sam's bedroom with a smile on his face. "You horny little
devil! I can't believe you shagged Adam!" he teased, sitting down next to his friend.
"We didn't 'shag'" said Sam, pouting for all he was worth "Oh *all* right,
'made love' then?" Sunny re-iterated.
"No, we didn't do anything like that. We just had dinner last night, and he decided,
or rather *we* decided, that he should stay the night."
"In *your* bed? What've you got on under there?" asked Sunny, pulling the covers
away from his friend. Sam grabbed his duvet back and returned to it's original position.
"So you mean to tell me that absolutely nothing went on last night?" Sunny
sounded incredulous.
"Not exactly nothing..." Sam trailed off.
"Well?" Sunny prompted after almost a minute of silence.
"We kissed."
"What? That's it? You just kissed? Well 'Go Sam', the nymphomaniac of the sex world
<!>" Sunny retorted sarcastically. "Seriously, you only kissed him?"
Sam nodded in response
"So much for the idea that gay guys are the most virile." That earned him a
pillow round the head, followed by a wrestling match that ended up with his cornflakes
strewn across the carpet and halfway up one wall.
----------------------------SOME TIME LATER----------------------------
By the time Adam's phone call came, Sam was practically bouncing off the walls he was so
excited. They had talked for what seemed like hours, until they agreed to meet at Sam's
place. After much pleading and eventual bribery, Sunny was persuaded to find somewhere
else to be by a grateful Sam.
The doorbell rang and Sam practically raced to the door. He slowed as he got there,
smoothing his shirt and smelling his breath. He took a deep breath and opened the door.
Adam smiled when he saw Sam. "Hi".
"Hi". They stood looking at each other for almost a minute, neither sure of what
to say next. Then Sam sprung to life. "Come in" He said, moving away from the
door. He led Adam through the hall and in to the living room.
"Can I offer you anything to drink?" asked Sam, motioning for Adam to sit down.
"No thanks" They both remained standing as an awkward silence fell on the room.
"Look, Sam" Adam said, "Can we just get on with this before I change my
mind"
"Direct, aren't you?" Sam commented. He moved toward the other man until their
bodies were millimetres apart. He put his right hand up to stroke Adam's cheek, tilting
his chin as their lips met. The kiss was slow and sensual, their lips caressing one
another with ease, conveying love and tenderness with each point of contact. The kiss
finally broke when Sam felt his jeans becoming rather too tight for comfort.
"We'd better move this somewhere a little more comfortable" he panted, leading
Adam by the hand as he had the night before. He followed Sam in to his bedroom, turning on
the bed side lamp. Sam turned to face the darker man next to him, the poor light creating
great variance between light and dark. He reached forward with his body and his lips,
allowing both to make contact with Adam, who responded by drawing him in closer. They
kissed for what seemed like eternity, the need building as their passions rose, the kiss
becoming more ferocious with every passing second. Adam put his hand between their heaving
chests and gently pushed Sam away. "Too many clothes" he gasped. Sam licked his
kiss-bruised lips, and began disrobing. He all but tore the clothes from his body, as did
Adam, garments flying across the room as both men stripped.
Sam finished first and stood watching, heavily aroused, as Adam kicked off his underwear
and stood before him, drinking in the sight of naked skin. Sam just managed to stop
himself from diving on to his knees and swallowing Adam cock first. He quickly turned to
the bedside cabinet and frantically searched through the drawers for what they needed. He
found what he was looking for, putting the lubricant down on the cabinet and tearing open
a condom packet. He took the piece of rubber and advanced towards Adam. He was about to
roll it on when he hesitated "Erm, do you want to do this or..."
"Go ahead" Adam replied, a shaky smile on his lips. Their first contact sent
sparks flying through Adam's nervous system. He almost jumped as Sam touched his cock.
After a bit of trying, the condom was in place and they could get down to business. Sam
didn't relinquish his hold on Adam's erection, instead using it to pull him in closer,
allowing his mouth to claim it's panting partner. He began gliding his hand up and down
Adam’s sheathed hardness, eliciting a groan from the darker man.
The sensations were becoming more than too much for Adam, and as his knees gave way he
fell back on to the bed, pulling Sam down on top of him, their mouths still locked in a
fiery embrace.
After a few minutes of passionate caressing, Sam drew his mouth away from Adam's and began
kissing his jaw line, tracing it with his tongue, slowly moving downwards, nipping at his
neck, probing his tongue in to the crevices under his breastbone. Adam dragged his hands
up Sam's back, lightly grazing his short nails over the fair expanse of skin beneath.
Sam began to kiss lower, his lips finding a nipple to play with. He sucked and teased the
tiny nub of flesh with his lips and tongue whilst Adam dropped his head back in ecstasy,
tightening his hold on Sam’s body. Sam lifted his head up to look at Adam, and was
mesmerised the sight before him; his skin flushed and head thrown back, his eyes tightly
shut. Sam continued his oral assault, alternating between Adam's two dark nipples. He
continued downwards, running his tongue over the other man's stomach, letting the tip
bathe his belly button until he reached the dark patch of hair above Adam's erect cock and
inhaled deeply, revelling in the masculine scent that had been missing from his life for
so long.
He encircled Adam's girth with his hand and began to tentatively lick the underside of the
pulsating organ with his tongue, beginning at the bottom of his hardness and leisurely
dragging his tongue from the base to the tip, tasting the minty flavour of the latex
beneath it. He shifted his weight slightly, and engulfed Adam's erection, swallowing it
whole and sucking it's length as if his life depended on it. He continued to bob his head
up and down over it, revelling in the sights and sounds that Adam was providing.
as for Adam, he was in seventh heaven. He had never felt anything like this before, had
never imagined that sex could be like this; that a man could fire such a passion within
his soul, that a man could elicit such emotion from him, that a man could be someone he
could truly love. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to contain the pure ecstasy that was
pulsing through his veins, pure ecstasy that centred on his cock. Then the sensations
stopped.
Adam opened his eyes to look at Sam who was sitting back on his haunches, his erection
prominent in front of him, his hand resting on Adam's hips. "I want you" said
Sam. Adam gave him a puzzled look, his brow furrowing. "I want you inside me".
Adam just laid there, dumfounded.
"Erm, Sam, I wouldn't know where to start..." he trailed off "Don't
worry" Sam smiled " I'll show you what to do. just tell me that you will"
"Right now Sam, I’d give you anything"
Adam surprised himself by what he had said, but realised that it was true; he had known
Sam for a very short time, but already felt a connection with him that he had never felt
before; he trusted him, maybe even... did he dare consider it? Love? Was that to strong a
word for it? Maybe not his conscious reasoned. Maybe not.
Sam crawled back up Adam's body, each man rubbing together every available inch of skin,
enjoying the strange sensations. Sam grabbed the lubricant form the bedside table and made
his way back down Adam's body, trailing kisses down his torso, kisses that were trails of
fire for Adam. Sam opened the lubricant and spread some over his fingers, first
lubricating Adam's cock and then beginning a quick loosening of himself. He inserted first
one, then two slick fingers, re-awakening old sensations that had been forgotten for some
time.
He positioned himself over Adam's cock, and began to guide the slick organ in to his
willing body. They maintained eye contact for the entire duration, Sam taking inch after
inch slowly, letting his body adapt to the intruder. When Adam was completely inside Sam,
he let out a sigh, revelling in the insanely tight dimensions of his cock's new resting
place. Sam was harder than ever now, the veins on his cock pulsing with blood and passion.
He reached out and brought Adam's hands to his hips. Then he began, ever so gently,
lifting his body and then lowering it, building up over several minutes, his cock flopping
up and down, hitting first his belly and then Adam's as he got fucked up the ass. They
were both sweating like crazy now. His breathing got heavier. He started to pinch both is
nipples for extra stimulation. Adam began to push up to meet Sam's thrusts, squeezing the
hips that straddled his body.
He could tell that he was getting close to orgasm, and decided to take action. He moved
his hand round to encircle Sam's cock as he moved up and down, roughly stroking the organ
as it began to pulsate under his fingers. The new sensations from Adam, coupled with the
pressure being exerted on his prostate was too much for Sam; he began to spurt his seed on
Adam's chest, a cry escaping his throat as his mind saw stars and his body was wracked
with pleasure. The contractions of Sam's sphincter took Adam over the edge and he began to
convulse in orgasm, spraying his cum into Sam's body.
Sam fell forward on to Adam, his semen being smeared between their heaving chests. Adam
slipped from his body with a squelch, a silent gasp escaping his lips. The force of the
orgasm was taking it's toll on Sam and as he slipped in to unconsciousness he heard Adam
sob "I'm sorry Sam. I'm so sorry..."
01/01/99
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